Posts tagged movies

iseulttoinjury replied to your post: Wait, WHAT. Blue Eyes went from being 25 to 30 in the space of five minutes and an Eat, Pray, Love montage?

Ngl your pain is making my night more tolerable

Haha always glad to help. I should drunkenly liveblog terrible movies more often. 

And then he meets Catherine Zeta Jones accidentally at a restaurant, and they make googly eyes at each other over touching sentimental music?

And SURPRISE - Blue Eyes has adopted a kid from Bangladesh now that he’s all grown up at 30?

It’s like the director was like “oh, hey, for a movie that’s set in Manhattan, we don’t have any people of color. LET’S SEND THE WHITE GUY TO AFRICA AND INDIA AND VARIOUS OTHER PLACES WHEREIN THERE ARE BROWN PEOPLE so that he can ~save everyone.”

WHO WROTE THIS. 

And then they have a total meltdown break up fight on the streets of Manhattan amid gently falling snow, and Blue Eyes goes on a total Eat, Pray, Love excursion to find himself while Catherine Zeta Jones is forced to endure dates with men her age who are also repulsive, because LOL why should a 40-year-old woman be able meet someone NORMAL when there are strapping 25-year-olds who don’t know that pulling out is not an effective means of contraception [breathes] just lying around all willy-nilly?

I dunno guys, I’ve got 12 minutes and 17 seconds left in this movie. I don’t know if I can make it. CZJ, what what what were you thinking, my love? At least in the movie with Aaron Eckhart there were superfluous food montages.